Failed.

All I wanted for the past month was to open the university website and find that I have passed my math so I could do my bachelor’s degree and finish in 2 years. But alas, as the title of this post suggests, I have not passed.

Life has resumed for me, but it has taken an unexpected and definitely unwanted turn. And I wish I had something profound or inspiring to say about how failures are the stepping stones to success or there’s a silver lining in every cloud, but not this time. And trust me when I say I’m not feeling sorry for myself, but I’m in this extremely crappy situation because of myself.

I was about to give up on this course and take an easier alternative last night. I was sure that I made the right decision in doing so, but just this morning my dad talked to me about not quitting, not giving up, and not always cowering and taking the easy way out. And I was convinced.

To future me, I know you will be reading this in the future and I wanna remind you this: you have made a decision today to not quit. You have also made a promise to yourself to take math more seriously and get your act together. And I know a month or two from now you are going to start getting complacent again. But do yourself and me a favor and don’t be a loser. It’s only math, not the end of the world. Study harder, practice more, practice regularly. A year from now, you’ll read this again and thank me because you have passed math.

And if you can’t find it in you to study for your own sake, remember that you have people you don’t wanna let down again. All those times grandma gave you angpaos hoping that your studies go smoothly and you lazily dick around?No.

    “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.

Now if you know what you’re worth, go out and get what you’re worth, But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody.”

—Sylvester Stallone in ‘Rocky Balboa’