Even Peter Pan grows up eventually.

3 years ago when I was about to graduate from high school, I remember constantly thinking that if it were possible, I'd choose to never grow up. I liked where I was, and didn't wanna change. I took that attitude to college and here I am 3 years later. And I think I've grown up a little bit. I feel that despite hating change so much, I have like all people eventually do, grown up.

Especially these past couple of years. I've learned so many things through so many experiences. I think I might have changed so significantly that if I were to meet myself from 3 years ago, we might actually have little in common.

I used to be happy and content that all I had to do everyday was go to school and study. I felt relieved that I didn't have to take on any real responsibilities that way. But more and more, I feel like academics might not be for me, and that I need to start making something out of life. I'm not at that point where I'm ready and looking forward to getting a job and taking on real responsibilities in the real world yet, but I think I'm getting there.

Besides school, I've also begun to think about my future. Ths past year or so, my cousins have been successively getting married and having kids. I mean, these are people I grew up with, and now they're in such a radically new stage in their lives, it's crazy. I used to and still do think marriage is scary, but now I'm thinking maybe it can also be exciting?

And with my grandma having passed away earlier this year, it just makes me look at life a little differently, I guess. Having to face the loss of someone dear to me makes me realize how finite life is. And also makes me think about not living life so selfishly, thinking everything is about how it can benefit me. I want to live for other people too, people who are important to me.

Having broken up this year, it's also made me learn so many things about people, relationships, and more importantly, it has made me learn a lot about myself, my strengths, my shortcomings, and how to better myself.

I guess the point of this post is that although growing up is inevitable and can be relentless at times, maybe it's a pill we have to swallow now for the good of tomorrow. I want to always be me, just better.